The Most Random Fire Emblem Christmas Ever
by shadowhunterwithasouffle
Summary: Mist is WAY too excited about Christmas. Shinon is drunk...again. And Soren is actually smiling! Through all of it, Ike is in a bad mood. What will it take to brighten up his Christmas? Two words: Pure randomness.


**AN: Most random story I've ever written. I don't think that the FE people even celebrate Christmas. But OH WELL! XD**

**Rating: Teen (to be safe...)  
Warning: MAJOR OOC-ness!**

**So, yeah! Please R and R! ^^**

**Happy Holidays, everyone!^^**

* * *

"Merry Christmas, Ike!"

"Wha…?" Ike groggily opened his eyes a slit and flipped over from his back to his stomach due to the sunlight blinding his vision. He hadn't remembered it was Christmas. The day was barely starting, and he'd not gotten to sleep until midnight the previous day due to… well, certain things. But the main thing was he was dead tired. "Don't make me get up," he complained into his pillow.

"Come on, Onii-chan!" Suddenly the bed began to shake furiously, and Ike gripped his hard, straw mattress so tightly it was as if he was hanging on for dear life. Annoyed, he reached out a hand and grabbed the small fingers of the one shaking the bed, causing the vibrations to cease. He let go of the hand for only a second to flip over onto his back and stare into his sister's eyes. "Mist, please. Out."

Mist pouted and crossed her arms over her short dress. "But Iiiiike," she whined, "I wanna put up the Christmas tree early!"

"Christmas tree…?" A very sleepy, dumbfounded Ike murmured.

"Yes, the tree!"

The blue-haired vanguard swung his legs over the bed and sat up to face Mist with quite a sour look on his face. He sighed and told the auburn-tressed valkryie, "Give me fifteen minutes, okay?"

"Ten!" Mist protested.

"Fifteen _tops_," Ike said, waving her away. Mist stuck her tongue out at him and skipped out of the room.

Ike ignored Mist's command and flopped back down onto his bed. He was definitely not in the mood for any celebrating, especially Christmas. He hadn't celebrated the holiday since he was little, so he wasn't even sure he knew what Christmas was anymore. He groaned inwardly. Nope. He was not getting up, not after what had happened the night before.

Last night, he had decided to rummage through his black hole he called a closet to check on his sword. But not just any sword. His first sword ever. It was dull and a bit cracked now, not as shiny as it had been ten years ago. But every so often he would brave the depths of his closet, just to make sure it was there.

Last night, it wasn't.

Two nerve-wracking hours later, Ike had scoured every inch, nook, and cranny of the mercenary base. No sword. At all. It was like it had disappeared into thin air, or walked out the door and never came back. He would have searched all day until at midnight Shinon finally yelled at him to go to sleep.

So, yeah. That was his problem. He would stay in bed for the rest of his life if he had to, but he just had to get that sword back.

"Mist got to you, Ike?"

"Soren…" Ike mumbled into his pillow. He was glad to hear his quiet, serious voice… or was his best friend's voice more peppy than usual?

"Merry Christmas," said Soren.

"Oh dear Ashera," Ike said, finally deciding to stand up and face the door to his bedroom where Soren had come in. "Soren, are you sick or something? Since when are you this… excited?"

Soren fingered with the edge of his cloak, and a small smile crept up onto his face. "It's Mist's fault."

"Suuure it is." Ike tapped his boot-covered foot on the hardwood floor. "So, are you here to ask me to put up the tree too?"

Soren's smile grew wider. "No… I just thought you might want to come see this." Turning away from the door, the dark-haired archsage beckoned for Ike to follow him.

* * *

"You have got to be kidding me."

"Sorry, not kidding."

Ike could only blink. The inside of his little mercenary base had been turned into some….winter-ish, red and green, completely Christmas-y wonderland. How long had it been since Mist woke him up that the Greil Mercenaries had put together all this? Ten minutes, as Mist requested he'd be in here? One hour? He couldn't see how they had put leaves and red fabric all over the ceiling, a steaming breakfast banquet on a large table that Ike had no memory of buying, AND a nine-foot, completely decorated tree all in one room in such a short amount of time.

"You have _got _to be kidding me," Ike repeated, stunned.

"Sorry, nope." Soren, in a strangely cheerful manner, half-skipped his way over to the breakfast table and helped himself to a large plate of bacon.

Ike looked disgusted. "Since when does Soren eat bacon…?" He murmured as Mist slid up next to him.

"I said ten minutes. You took thirty, so we went ahead and decorated without you." She said with a satisfied smirk.

"Whose idea was this anyway?" Ike asked loud enough for the entire base to hear.

"Mist," the rest of the mercenaries chorused, expect for a very drunk Shinon, who shouted, "THAT LITTLE CUTIE OVER THERE NEXT TO YOU, IKEY!"

"Put a sock in it, Shinon," Titania grumbled from where the tree stood in the corner of the room.

"Now, guys, let's not get too worked up…" Rhys pleaded, while standing by a very annoyed looking Mia.

"You didn't even help, Rhys!" The purple-haired girl exclaimed. "You just sat around and stared at all of us hard workers with those wide eyes of yours."

"Come on, Mia. Give him a break." Oscar said, smiling. "He just got over another cold."

"Meh." Mia made a sound of defeat.

A long period of silence happened after that. Titania blinked. Soren reached for the orange juice. Rolf dropped the star that was supposed to go on the tree but caught it before it hit the floor, teetering in an unsteady position. And then Mist shouted:

"TIME TO OPEN PRESENTS!"

Titania screamed. Soren dropped his glass. Rolf fell flat on his face trying to hold the star. Ike asked, "How do we know which present goes to whom?" He stared at the poorly wrapped but opaque presents scattered under the tree. They were all covered in…

"MIST! T-that's…. YOU USED MY EXTRA ROBES?" Soren shouted, furious. "You said you were going to use the white ones, not the ones I wear!"

"Whoops, I-" But Mist was unable to finish her sentence, for Soren was chasing her around the mercenary base, threatening angrily to pour his new glass of orange juice down her back and then Rexcalibur her to the next century.

"Holy. Ashera." Ike put his head in his hands. Apparently, Mist had not learned not to get Soren angry.

"AND IF YOU DO IT AGAIN, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO CUT UP ALL YOUR LITTLE SHORT OUTFITS AND MAKE YOU WEAR IKE'S CLOTHES!" Soren finished as Mist ran over to bawl into Rolf's shirt.

"And I thought this was supposed to be Christmas, not the craziest day ever." Ike laughed a little bit as the mercenaries (except a cussing-like-a-sailor Soren, bawling Mist, freaked-out Rolf, and dramatically singing Shinon) went to open their presents. Then somebody noticed that Shinon was loudly humming the tune to "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" and this is what happened after that:

Gatrie accidentally opened Shinon's new set of arrows and began to throw them at the wall. Shinon yelled at him.

Oscar went over to Shinon and began to sing with him loudly off key.

Soren sat back with his cup of juice and stared at the group with a face that said _Why am I hanging out with all these crazy people._

Mia began to "poke" Rhys with her new sword and made him bleed. Just a little bit. But he still began to wail like a baby.

Mist was still clinging to Rolf and crying about how she didn't want to look fat in Ike's clothes.

Titania and Boyd began to have a staring contest for no particular reason at all.

Ike sighed. "What an interesting Christmas."

And it was only nine in the morning….

**

* * *

**

**~That night~**

"Hey, Ike."

"Hey." Ike was lying in his bed, still listening to Oscar and Shinon go through their fifteenth round of "Silent Night". "You had a good Christmas?"

"Maybe." Soren gave a half-hearted smile as he sat on the bed by Ike's feet. "But you will absolutely freak out when you see this." From behind his back, Soren pulled out a sword.

But not just any sword. Ike's first sword.

"Where in the world did you find it?" Ike nearly shouted, sitting up and stroking the dull blade.

"I didn't find it. I hid it."

"What?" Ike stared at his friend. "You hid it? You were the one who kept me up until midnight searching for it?"

"Well… yes and no. Mist was the one who told me to try the plan. And it worked. You got no sleep last night."

Ike was confused. "How does that even matter?"

Soren smiled, and then laughed like a mad hyena. "I don't even know!"

And then Ike started to laugh. And the two laughed and laughed, all the way into the night, until they could laugh no more. Lying on Ike's bed, Soren said just before falling asleep, "Merry Christmas, Ike."

As Soren turned away from him, Ike chuckled. "Merry Christmas."


End file.
